After a prolonged absence over the summer, I attended church last week and noticed something odd. At the beginning of the service, where we usually ask visitors or people who have returned after a long absence to stand and tell us who they are, the speaker announced that we were doing something different this year. Visitors were asked to stand; they were not invited to identify themselves. A couple of people stood up and looked around. My sense was that they weren’t sure what they should do. My first reaction was: how rude! I wondered how I would feel if I were in that situation.
Today, the same thing happened in church. A few people stood up, and this time one of them spoke up, introducing himself and explaining that he was a member briefly, moved away for a short time, and has now returned.
I’m not sure what went into this decision ask our visitors to remain silent, but in my opinion, it was a not a good one one. What are we telling our visitors when we ask them to stand but not tell us who they are? Do we not care enough to ask them? Some people work up a lot of courage when they come to an unknown church for the first time, and may at least hope that they will be welcomed and that people will want to know something about them.
Ironically, later in the service, radical hospitality was mentioned. I don’t think that this is even basic hospitality. I think that we need to seriously re-consider this decision. I think we can do better.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
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4 comments:
I have had this experience when I have visited other churches while traveling. I always feel like a spectacle. In any situation, I feel its odd to invite only the visitors to stand and introduce themselves. To me, it says that the "regulars" are the important ones and they need info on all the newbies.
We appreciate your observations and opinions as we, the members of the Worship Committee, explore new ways to make visitors feel welcome at Cedars.
Ultimately a church our size can’t realistically have everyone who visits introduce themselves from the floor. Many congregants cannot hear visitors speaking without a microphone in Webster Hall. And many visitors prefer not to introduce themselves to a rather large group of people they’ve never met.
Having tried a new welcoming experience for three Sundays so far, we’re in the early awkward stage of discovering how to make our welcoming time most meaningful. We’re doing it imperfectly and we’re learning from our mistakes.
We ask for your patience while we work out the kinks.
You note the connection between the change in our welcoming and the board’s commitment to radical hospitality. That is deliberate and, we think, congruent. Note also that we no longer have the scripted welcoming statement delivered by board members in rotation. We are trying other radically hospitable techniques to help folks get to know their board members.
Hospitality also includes striving to make a good first impression. We now have worship associates crafting and delivering Words of Welcome, followed by a prelude from Chris. We hope this will offer a more spiritual beginning to our Sunday services.
Finally, we were startled by your choice of words to characterize the decision made by Rev. Barbara and the members of the worship committee. We value your opinions and your right to express them, but must say the word you chose sounds disrespectful of our carefully considered efforts to make the Cedars worship experience the best that it can be.
Thank you for your thoughts and support in this ever important endeavor.
I appreciate feedback on this. Evolving does feel a little awkward - the Worship Committee is looking at various models practiced in other congregations, and I welcome conversation if anyone chooses to talk with me about this. I'll be doing the Welcome this Sunday, and will notice folks' responses.
Also, I some of the upcoming after-church Conversations may offer relevant input as we shape our future together - topics about "Home" and "Public Presence" are upcoming. (I am just glad not to hear that we are a lively congregation!!! )
I am disturbed by this post. I thought the purpose of this blog to promote Cedars and Unitarian Universalism? Many seekers view this blog to find out about us. The content of this blog post seems more appropriate for an internal discussion, not a public one.
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